


If I Wait Forever

by TheMonsterWhoWentEast



Series: The Measure of a Mark [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: F/M, Flashbacks, Gen, Growing Up, Happy Ending, M/M, Minor Character Death, One Shot, Siblings, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Tragedy, Viktuuri is background but important, mostly sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-11-29 07:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11436363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMonsterWhoWentEast/pseuds/TheMonsterWhoWentEast
Summary: The moment Mari chose not to take a leap of faith, she decided that she'll be a background character in the story of her own life.





	If I Wait Forever

**Author's Note:**

> This one shot is a direct sequel to Chasing Viktor. I was on the fence with writing a sequel or a companion fic, but one reader made a very valid point that Mari and Yuuri weren't able to reconcile in Chasing Viktor >.>
> 
> I was planning on them being on good terms, but it didn't fit anywhere in the timeline so I just pushed it back.
> 
> This work may have some josei flavor, but only because it's seen through Mari's point of view :D

_"Marichan got marked."_

_Katsuki Mari grasped the handle of her hairbrush tightly, painfully hyper-aware of every single student in the girls' locker room. Slowly, the dark-haired child touched her left hip, imagining the nonexistent contours of a cloud and three ribbons._

_"Really?! But she doesn't even have her period yet!"_

_"Maybe it's one of the boys in our class!"_

_"No way, all the boys in our grade are scared of Marichan!"_

_"Her soulmate's probably an old pervert!"_

_"Ehhh?! That's gross!"_

**_"SHUT UP."_ **

_The gossiping girls from the other side of the lockers quieted almost instantly, a shy looking one peeking out apologetically at Mari. "M-Marichan, you're here." She stated dumbly, blushing profusely as she realized how foolish she sounded. "We're sorry, um, we don't mean that!"_

_Mari bit her lower lip, willing away the tears forming at the corners of her eyes as her hands shook with rage she almost could not contain. Letting out a particularly strong breath from her nose, the girl approached the group, closing their gap by a good few feet. The girl in front of her cowered in fear as cautious steps moving away from them echoed against the room walls._

_"Don't talk if you don't know anything." She seethed, tossing her towel to the girl's feet before moving out the room with her bag slung over her shoulder._

***

"That's your second box today, Mari."

The half-blonde woman scoffed, rolling her eyes as she bit the cigarette in between her teeth. "You don't see me keeping tabs on how many bottles you down." She retorted plainly, earning a scowl from Minako. Lighting the tip, the younger woman leaned against one of the posts outside the inn, staring at a random airplane by the moon, most probably one that took off from Fukuoka.

To the farthest side of the inn's backyard was a newly-patted mound, a shovel neatly placed behind it. Mari's hands and eyes smarted from looking at the damp dirt, her arms aching, less from the digging she'd done and more from laying a small, cold ball of fur wrapped in white cloth to rest deep within the hole.

"Yuuri fucked up, big time." Mari whispered, making sure it was loud enough for Minako to hear her. "He fucked up because  _I_ fucked up, panicked and called him, even when there was absolute nothing he could have done."

Minako's eyebrows creased as she placed her bottle of alcohol on the table. "That was only natural, Mari. You can't blame yourself; nobody wanted Vicchan to die."

"I could have waited a few hours, couldn't I?" The woman all but growled, then muttered, "Ironic piece of shit."

"Hey," Minako said sharply, her bite tinted with motherly disapproval Mari would never point out. "This was no one's fault. You found Vicchan, and the first thing that came to mind was to call Yuuri. We don't practice for these things, we just do what feels right and we have to trust our judgment."

"We could all use better judgment, and stop calling people when someone dies." The younger woman spat, voice merely a whisper. After a few minutes of silence, Mari took a long drag of her cigarette, blew an ungodly amount of smoke to the air, before extinguishing the dying embers on the ratty apron of her inn uniform. "I better get back, Mom's hands are full and I need to set some sticky buns out for Vicchan."

***

_"You're my soulmate."_

_Mari looked up from her unfinished braid, blushing slightly as she saw no one else the cute, almost effeminate boy in front of her could have addressed. Dumbly, she stared at him, gulping as she absently finished twisting her hair. The boy bit his lip, gulping visibly as pink tinged his cheeks and nose, wide eyes with unbelievably thick lashes shining brightly. "I-I heard from the other girls that you got marked two weeks ago." He continued, sounding more unsure by the word, especially with Mari addressing him only with an unbelieving stare. "W-what I mean is, I like you, and I think I'm your soulmate."_

_"How did you come up with that?" The girl asked, raising one eyebrow as the boy reddened by the second._

_"I f-fell in love with you two weeks ago!"_

_Mari just frowned. "That doesn't prove anything." She pointed out, gathering her things as she stood at eye level with the other child. "Besides, aren't you too young to be falling in love?"_

_The boy grasped his hands tightly in front of him, sucking in his lips as he scrambled his mind for a come back. "I-I can to! I know we're too young to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but don't push down my feelings yet!"_

_"I-I'm not!" Mari responded defensively, feeling her own cheeks heating up as she buried her face behind her bag. Eyes flitting from side to side, the girl decided to look down at they walking shoes instead of her companion's face. "How sure are you? Do you have a mark? Do you know what mine looks like?"_

_Silence followed before the boy reached out to touch her bag, making the girl look him in the eye. "Have you fallen in love before?" He asked, to which Mari scoffed._

_"Of course not."_

_"We'll, I'm not marked yet."_

_Embarrassment turned to annoyance at a drop of a hat. "Exactly!" Mari nearly squealed. "We're_ ten years old _, we're not supposed to have soul marks yet!" Taken aback by her own outburst, Mari offered the boy a small bow before running off._

_Only to have him run after her._

_"No, wait! We don't need to be boyfriend-girlfriend yet!" He panted as he sprinted to run by her side, his huffs evident that he wasn't into sports. "Let's just be friends first! Then you can find the time to fall in love with me!"_

_Mari supposed her face was as red as the traffic light already, but looked the boy in the face as well, despite how dangerous it was to do so while running forward. "You're not even sure it's me! Why are you so persistent! We don't even talk in school!"_

_"Well, we'll talk from now on, and we'll be best friends! I'll wait! I'll wait for as long as it takes!"_

_"And if you wait forever?!"_

_The boy stumbled, tripping over his own feet as he rolled onto the grass._

_Mari felt extremely bad for heading home and not looking back._

_The following day, Mari found the boy standing in front of her table, a couple of plasters on his knees and elbows, while a few scratches adorned his face. Still, she could not discount how bright his eyes twinkled when she entered the classroom. "Katsukichan! You're here!" He greeted, running up to her with a slight limp (Mari felt_ extremely _guilty) and getting her bag from her to bring to her table. As she took a seat, Mari shot the boy an apologetic glance._

_"Sorry about yesterday, I should have helped you up."_

_"Nah, after thinking about it, I must have scared the living daylights out of you."_

_"You did, yeah."_

_Silence came between them, followed by laughter._

***

_"...maybe somewhere down the road, we'll meet again."_

Mari bit onto her cigarette, keeping it unlit as she fastened the last of Yuuri's Viktor Nikiforov posters onto his room walls. There were definitely more than fifty of them, but she didn't have the heart to count as that would entail embarrassing her easily ruffled brother more. "You know, there's no reason to be ashamed of these," She mumbled, catching Yuuri's attention. "It's good to look up to someone, have someone to chase after. At least you won't ever lose you're way if you can see what's in front of you."

The man looked down, holding one of the smaller prints (a close up of Viktor in all black, his Free Skate costume during the season he first chopped his hair off). "I saw him, you know?"

His sister rolled her eyes. "Gee, I wonder how you managed to do that, considering, I don't know, you were participating in the same event?" She offered, earning an indignant blush from Yuuri.

"Y-You know what I meant!" He retorted, frowning. "I mean he spoke to me. After the competition, Viktor Nikiforov caught me looking at him and he waved at me." A small smile pasted itself on the dark-haired man's face. "He waved at me and asked me if I wanted a commemorative photo."

"Well, where is it? I'd love to see."

"I turned him down."

"I beg your pardon?"

Mari's cigarette hit the floor and the woman was on her brother, eyes wild as she held him by the shoulders. "You can't be serious." She whispered, biting her lip. "That was  _your chance_!!! Do you know what  _I_ would give to have Takao  _ask me_  to take a commemorative photo?!"

Yuuri's facial expression mimicked his sister's, before the man burst out laughing. "I know!" He giggled, pushing Mari off him as his face fell. "I guess it was pretty dramatic of me back then, but you and I both know how big a mess I was. I was a bit hurt that Viktor treated me like a fan, didn't even refer to me by name." He sighed, turning to his sister. "So I just up and left, without saying anything to him."

Mari looked at him as if he grew a third head. "Yuukun, I hope you know that there are literally just five other competitors on the list." She pointed out, arms akimbo. "Viktor is a champion for a reason, and I don't think anyone who's good enough to stay on top would make such rookie mistakes as not researching the enemy."

His brother's frown deepened as he looked down. "Y-You're right, I was just an idiot." He whispered, voice breaking ever so slightly. Smiling sadly towards Mari, the man continued. "Pretty stupid of me, huh? Once in a lifetime opportunity blown because of how stupid I acted."

The man found an arm over his shoulders, his sister's warmth welcome against his back. "You weren't an idiot, and you weren't a no one either. I'm a hundred percent sure Viktor knew who you were." She assured, smiling at Yuuri. "And it's not a once in a lifetime opportunity if you rise up to the challenge and meet him on the ice again, right?"

***

_"I turned him down."_

_Hiroko turned from the stove, rushing to Mari the moment she caught her daughter's tears. "Oh, Marichan, what happened?!" She exclaimed, holding her fifteen-year-old daughter in her arms. Hiroko had only risen up to Mari's shoulder at that point, but her presence as a mother overtook whatever handicap being short gave her. "Is this about-"_

_"-He wanted me to come with him to Tokyo for high school." The girl blurted out, rubbing her face onto her mother's shoulder. "He told me before that we were only going to Fukuoka, he told me that I would still be able to visit every week."_

_"My little girl, you know we would let you if you wanted to." Hiroko said gently, pushing Mari away slightly to wipe away her tears. "If you're worried about the inn, please don't; it has been here long before your father was born, and it will be here long after his grandchildren would come to be."_

_Her words did nothing to stop the floodgates from her daughter's eyes. "I know that!" She croaked, rubbing her nose profusely. "But I don't want to go far. Yuuchan is still so young, so frail, and so small; I need to stay here so that no one hurts him."_

_The older woman gazed at her lovingly. "That warms my heart so," She whispered, enveloping her daughter within a hug. "But is that what you wish? If he is your match, won't you want to be with him?"_

_"Not if I will be far from you, Dad and Yuuchan." The girl cried. "Besides, he isn't even marked yet!"_

_"But you have not fallen in love yet, yes?"_

_This quieted the sniveling girl as she turned her head away in shame. "No."_

_"Do you not want to love him?"_

_"...I'm afraid."_

_Hiroko gazed at her child understandingly, cupping Mari's reddened cheeks. "My poor child, it's all right." She whispered. "I was scared too when I got marked, beyond terrified when your father came to me with a marriage proposal without his mark."_

_The girl looked at her mother with teary eyes. "How did you fall in love with Dad?"_

_The older woman smiled._

_"It's not a matter of how, but more of a matter of why."_

***

"Whoa, Marichan, what's with all these CedEx boxes?!"

Looking up from box number five, Mari was faced with Minako's wide eyes. "Seriously, did you get another walk-in company outing?"

"Uh, nothing like that, but Dad forgot to tell us about a long-staying guest."

The former ballerina raised her eyebrow as she followed the younger woman carrying the box. "That's an awful lot of stuff for just one long-staying guest; are they staying for the  _entire year_?"

"Hopefully."

"See, exactly- _what!?_ "

Playfully, Mari kept mum as she led Minako to the private banquet area she had been fixing for Viktor Nikiforov's room. All things considered, the blonde woman was still wondering if she was sleeping and Yuuri was vicariously dreaming through her, the reality of the Living Legend- Yuuri's idol since  _forever_ \- sitting in their hot springs a little too much for her to take in all at once.

 _'If it were Takao, I bet I would have melted into a puddle at this moment.'_  She thought to herself, chuckling slightly after recalling the last concert she went to. "Mari, why are you acting so secretive? If it's a handsome celebrity staying here, I want to meet him!" Minako demanded, the younger woman rolling her eyes.

"Yup, it's a handsome celebrity all right." She said, leaving the rest of the boxes for the mean time to tease Minako.

"Famous enough to be someone I know?"

Mari smirked.

"You've known him for more than ten years, so yeah."

The excitement on Minako's face fell as she pieced together the situation in her head. Eyes widening with realization, Mari found the ex-ballerina's finely manicured fingers curled on her shoulders, the woman too close for comfort as she heaved in her general direction.

"It can't be." She said as her lips broke into a big smile. "Takao is here?!"

Mari swore she blacked out from how hard she face-palmed. Exasperatedly, the younger woman took out her phone and showed Minako a candid picture she'd taken of Viktor's back as he was moving to the baths. She was going to use it as a tease for Yuuri, but her current situation with the older lady called for its use.

"I-Is that...?!" Minako squeaked, grabbing her phone to stare at Viktor's silver hair more intently than she really should have. With a nod from Mari, the older woman began to hop from one foot to another, clearly buzzing with excitement. "Does Yuuri know?!"

"Nope, he's still asleep; I'll get mom to wake him up to shovel the snow soon though." Mari responded, wondering if she could accidentally-on purpose make Makkachin pounce on him for good measure. Minako returned her phone and clamped her hands over her mouth.

"Oh my God," She exclaimed, vainly trying to hide a toothy grin. "This is  _unreal_! It's like those TV dramas where the dashing lead crosses any distance to be with with his soulmate! Yuuri is going to  _freak_! He's been  _obsessed_ with Viktor ever since-" The woman caught herself in mid-speech, slowly turning to her companion guiltily. "Hey, I'm sorry, I got too excited, I didn't think-"

The dancer wasn't able to finish her stammering when Mari simply shook her head and waved her off. "It's fine," She said, detached, "We're not sure if Viktor and Yuuri are soulmates so I wouldn't try to push anything yet."

"Mari-"

"Hey," She cut in again, placing a firm hold on Minako's shoulder. "It's been more than ten years. It... it doesn't bother me as much anymore."

***

 _Mari stared at the face-down balled fist, as if it were urging her to reach out her hands to receive whatever was kept in by the boy's folded fingers. "Take it, please." He implored, his free hand grasping at his transfer papers to a prominent high school in Tokyo. As the girl's eyes moved from the fist to the loose piece of thread sticking out from her companion's_ gakuran _, in between two, shiny buttons, she found herself taking a step back. The boy's face feel, a worried quiver on his lips. The girl took a moment to admire how he had grown, taking the_  ikemen _route instead of the manly one._ _"Mari?"_

 _"I-I haven't fallen in love with you yet." She admitted nervously, feeling her heart clench as the boy in front of her bowed his head._ 'It won't be hard to, though,'  _She added as an after thought, gazing at the fine, straight hair he'd let grown to his neck, then to the lashes that were the envy of half the girls in their middle school._

_"Well, I guess that's a good thing, because I haven't gotten marked yet either." He responded hopefully as he brought down his already shaking fist. "Do you not want to after all? My feelings haven't changed since five years ago."_

_Mari bit her lip as she wrung the hem of her skirt. "Why does it matter? You're moving to Tokyo in two weeks anyway. You'll meet so many girls there, girls much more beautiful, interesting and outgoing than I." She said, knowing how hypocritical it was for her to think so, especially when she gave uplifting pep talks to Yuuri almost everyday._

_The boy furiously shook his head. "No way! There's only Marichan for me!" He said adamantly, eyes burning with determination as he gazed fiercely into the girl's eyes. "I_ know _I'm your match, I_ know _I'll have your mark someday. You'll fall in love with me too."_

 _He opened his balled fist and reached it out once more to Mari, the glint of the second button of his_ gakuran _-the one nearest to his heart- beckoning the young girl to take it and keep it close. Unshed tears reddened her eyes, but Mari forced herself not to cry. "I can't accept that, not until I'm sure I'm your soulmate."_

_the boy frowned. "Can't I be sure enough for the both of us? At least for now?"_

_"Why are you so sure that my mark will appear on you?!"_

_"I can_ feel _it! I just know it! I just need to wait until you're ready, and I'm more than willing to do so!"_

_"And if you wait forever?!"_

_It was the boy's turn to be taken aback, but he moved forward almost instantaneously. "If I wait forever," He began, dropping his transfer papers and the button to free up his hands to hold's Mari's, "Then I'll make sure I live one forever more so that I can spend it you."_

_Once again, Mari found herself brought to a sobbing mess by the same boy, but let herself lean into him wordlessly as they shared a short but meaningful hug._

***

She shouldn't have been surprised when she saw Viktor launch off from the sidelines, tackling her brother onto the ice with a kiss neither her parents nor Yuuri was really ready for. She should have expected the gooey, loving gaze Viktor Nikiforov beamed at his little brother, as if the boy (he would always be a boy to Mari) hung the stars in the sky, as they wobbled off the rink, possibly opening more questions than they could answer.

"Oh my, Vicchan is very daring!" Hiroko laughed behind her hand, obviously delighted with how things had turned out. Everyone in the inn knew that Viktor was Yuuri's match, after all, what with the love story of the century that, as Minako said, was exactly like the dramas Mari thought too superfluous to watch. Regardless, the woman was extremely happy for her brother, if not slightly and playfully jealous at how lucky Yuuri was to be actually matched to his long-time idol.

"We have to Tweet this, Mom! Quick!" Axel squealed as she handled Yuuko's phone too masterfully for an eight-year-old, taking snapshots of the television as Yuuri and Viktor's kiss replayed live.

"Yuuri will kill you all," Takeshi laughed, bringing the triplets up with his muscular arms, the three howling and squirming. Mari couldn't help but smile wistfully at the sight, everybody but the Nishigori family remaining in her eyes.

 _'Must be really nice,'_  She sighed internally, a stray thought escaping her, the image of a small, chubby boy playing with a man more beautiful than her suddenly so clear in her mind. Mari's body turned frigid at the thought, immediately bolting up and excusing herself to go outside. "What a bother." She whispered with a hint of bitterness, taking out her ashtray and a half-finished box of cigarettes.

***

_**Address** : katsukimari@yoohoo.jp_

_**Cc/Bcc** :_

_**Subject** : I'm coming back now_

_Mari, something happened, and I'm so happy. But I can't tell you through email, okay?_

_Leaves a bad taste in my mouth._

_I want you to hear it with your own ears, and see it with your own eyes!_

_Oh my God. I already skipped on the opening ceremonies today, Mom and Dad will kill me._

_But!!!_

_Mari! Wait for me! I'm already on a train!_

_I'll be back soon._

_..._

_..._

_I love you too._

**_Sending..._ **

**_Sending..._ **

**_..._ **

**_.._ **

**_._ **

**_.._ **

**_.._ **

**_...sent at 8:35am._ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_seen 1:34pm._

***

"Holy shit, no, no no," Mari swore as she found Makkachin lying motionlessly in front of Vicchan's shrine, scraps of the plastic-wrapped sticky buns strewn all of the floor. It  _really_  didn't take a genius to know what happened. Placing a shaking hand to the poodle's stomach, the woman sent a short prayer of thanks above when she felt a shallow rise and fall. Immediately, she hoisted the dog up, running barefoot to their car. "You're gonna make it boy, everything's going to be okay." She murmured against Makkachin's fur, the poodle letting out a barely audible whine as she was laid onto the backseat.

She was  _not_ letting Viktor go through what Yuuri did. Not on her watch.

As she rounded the corner to the veterinary clinic, the woman made an impressive park that she would have absolutely gloated about had the circumstances been different. With adrenaline-powered ease, Mari carried the poodle into the clinic, the wildness in her eyes getting the urgency of the situation across perfectly, if the scrambling nurse and doctor tandem were anything to go by.

"Please, he ate plastic and sticky buns," She was able to say before the doctor took the dog from her and to a stretcher, disappearing behind what could have been an operating room.

"We'll take care of Makkachin," The nurse said kindly, and only after she disappeared through the doors did Mari belatedly realized that they knew the dog by name. Shaking her questions off, she took her phone and started dialing Viktor's number, only to stop dead at the second digit.

"I can't call him," She whispered to herself, pocketing her phone and leaning against the operating room door. "Please be okay, Makkachin."

As if to further prove her rotten luck, the same kind-faced nurse resurfaced from the room, a more grave expression on her face. "It looks bad," She said in shame, looking as if she'd want nothing but to take back her reassurances several minutes before. "The doctor and I are doing everything that we can, but it doesn't look like he'll make it through the night."

"No," Mari choked, covering her mouth with a hand, looking around for anyone she could find comfort in. The clinic was bare, as it usually was at eleven in the evening, but the child in her wanted nothing more but have Hiroko encase her in her arms. Feeling the prick in her eyes and the weight of the phone as the nurse disappeared, Mari exited the veterinary clinic, decided that she needed to make the call once more.

**_Ring... ring... ring... click!_ **

_"Marineechan?"_

"Hello Yuuri?"

***

"-derailed and collided into the last car of the JK bullet train in transit from Tokyo to Fukuoka, causing a moderate fire twelve kilometers after the Shin-Osaka station, twelve thirty in the afternoon today. The fire has been put out as of 1:00pm, and rescuers had been dispatched..."

_Hiroko frowned as she served bowls of ramen to her customers. "What terrible news," She said, to which her patrons nodded grimly._

_"They should check those rails more regularly!"_

_"I think they do, but what can we pit against fate?"_

_"You believe that?"_

_The woman left her customers to argue amongst themselves as she noted a tall, dark-haired girl enter the dining area._

_"I'm home, Mom."_

_"Welcome home, Marichan!" Hiroko greeted as approached the girl, frowning when she noticed the grimace on her face. "What's wrong, dear?"_

_Taking out her phone, Mari pouted. "There's been an unknown contact calling me for the past thirty minutes." She whined, sounding bored. "Apparently, whoever this prankster has an accomplice who even sent me an email, but I don't want to open it yet because it might be spam, or worse, a virus."_

_"Well, nothing wrong with taking the call right? You can just hang up if it's really a prank call." Hiroko suggested kindly, bringing her daughter to one of the_ chabudai _to ready her for lunch._

"-this just in, an update from the railway tragedy this noon. The rescuers have scoured the train and it has been confirmed that there are no survivors. Identification of the victims will all be done through dental record due to the massive damage from the collision and the fire-"

_"What on earth happened?" Mari asked, turning to her mother with a confused-slash-worried look. Hiroko returned her gaze sadly._

_"One of the bullet trains from Tokyo en route to Fukuoka derailed and crashed," She supplied, eyes widening as Mari dropped her bag. "Marichan?"_

_"Oh no, no no no nononono," She panicked, taking out her phone and opening the email from the unknown sender. Hiroko's arms were around her daughter a split second before Mari started screaming and crying, the patrons immediately crowding around her in worry. The mother hurriedly brought her daughter into the kitchen, away from well-meaning but prying eyes, rubbing her back as the girl caught her breath._

_Mari's phone started ringing again, and Hiroko thought it best to answer it herself._

_"H-Hello?" She stammered, wincing at the sound of a heartbroken cry from both sides of the phone._

"Oh my God, my God, is this Katsuki Mari?!"

_The voice was of a man, definitely in his late forties, panicked and wet from tears. "N-No, this is Mari's mother, Hiroko." The mother said hesitantly, her own nerves being done in by the haunting sounds surrounding her._

"M-My son! Oh fuck, my stupid,  _stupid_ son!" _He cried in between his speech, the insults nothing but pain to the mother's ears._ "H-He said he got marked, and he s-skipped his goddamned school! T-That train-!"

_Hiroko froze, paralyzed by the heartbreaking expletives from the son-less father on the other side of the phone, and the image of her bawling, matchless daughter sprawled on the kitchen floor._

***

Mari was supposed to pick up her brother's soulmate from the airport to bring him to his miraculously recovering dog, when a Western man and his beautiful wife who bore her brother's soul mark on her wrist waltzed in the entrance of their inn, inquiring about their reservation. Her brain short-circuited, anger and shame intermingling with each other, the only coherent thought that made it out of her lips spoken in such strained English, before she bolted out of the house and into her car.

_"Please, wear this over your mark."_

Mari pounded her balled fists against the steering wheel as she exited into the traffic brought in the Karatsu Kunchi festival. "Damn it!" She cursed, the image of her shy, younger brother staining black in her mind. "Why, Yuuri!? Why?!"

She sped off the first moment she was able to, careful not to break the speed limit as she voice commanded her phone to send a text to Viktor, who was supposed to be in Fukuoka in less than an hour.

Viktor.

"Damn it!" She cried, making a turn sharper than was proper before continuing on the highway. Eyes blinking away tears of fury and disappointment, Mari proceeded to drive. "We tried to give you everything, as long as we could. Wasn't it enough for you, Yuuri?!"

***

_Mari never stood out in school, preferring to observe her friends and classmates from her corner seat._

_So when Katsuki Mari entered the her high school classroom for the first time, two weeks late from the start of school, no one recognized her right away, what with her pierced ears, bleached blonde two-toned hair, and glossy lips. The teacher was indignant, but the school hadn't been too strict with what few students Hasetsu still had (many sets of parents had opted to pull their children out of Hasetsu High and transfer them to big-name academies and institutions in more advanced cities like Fukuoka, and even as far as Tokyo.)._

_Mari was the It Girl overnight._

_"Marichan! You look so cool!" One of her female classmates cooed as she and her posse crowded around her corner in the classroom. As the girls wiggled their eyebrows, Mari gazed at them, bored._

_"What do you want?" The blonde drawled as she rested her face on her hand, brandishing Chinese cloud nail art on top of black polish. The girls exchanged nervous gazes, before the leader spoke up once more._

_"Uh, you see, we were just wondering if you're having some edgy fun after school?" She asked hesitantly, her coy nature foiled by her unabashed giddiness. "My parents would kill me if I came home looking like that, but it just looks so cool, and we'd like to know what you were up to?"_

_To the group's chagrin, Mari just laughed. "Seriously, your innuendos could use more work; if you can't help but sound like ten-year-olds, you can just ask me straight to my face." She spat with a smirk, internally basking in the heat emanating from the Queen Bee's ears._

_"All right, how would_  you _say it then, if you're so good?" The girl challenged, crossing her arms over her hardly developed bosom, watching Mari wickedly as if baiting her. "I'm waiting, Marichan."_

_The group visibly jumped a good foot back when the blonde suddenly stood up, the scrape of her chair's steel legs so painful even Mari had to wince at the sound. "You talk tough but curl back like a bunch of pussies at my slightest movement." She chuckled, noting how interesting it was to watch the blushing and blanching of the girls' faces. As she slung her bag over her shoulder, Mari moved past them with ease. Before she left, the blonde girl sent them a wink. "Oh, and you can keep wondering til your heads turn gray if I'm fucking college guys in Fukuoka."_

_Of course, Mari wasn't really having casual sex on the side (Hiroko would have a heart attack), but the look on Queen Bee's face was worth it. If she tried spreading rumors, well..._

_Mari laughed as she exited the tiny high school building, moving to the much larger one for elementary pupils. With practiced ease, the girl moved through the corridors as if she were following an invisible string, eventually leading her to the small, brown door of the ballet room._

_Minako's muffled goodbyes could be heard from inside, followed by the babble of half a dozen children excited to go home. Mari watched as five small girls exited the door one by one, looking up at her and greeting her with gap-toothed grins._

_"Hi Marineechan!"_

_"Yuuchan's sis is so cool!"_

_"That's why Yuuchan is so cool too!"_

_"Marineechan, Yuuchan did a flawless split today! You should ask him to show you!"_

_Before the teenager could return the energy, a small, dark-haired boy stumbled outside, hair messed up and face blotched read._

_"H-hey! Stop it, it's embarrassing!" Ten-year-old Yuuri cried, but Mari knew the boy was secretly flattered. "You don't have to watch me do a split Marineechan!"_

_"But she should!" One of the small girls insisted, tugging at Mari's jacket sleeve. "The dumb boys in our class can't even stretch properly; they make fun of Yuuchan because they're stupid and jealous."_

_"Hanachan!!!" Yuuri shrieked, grabbing his friend by the_   _bag. Looking up to her with big, brown eyes, Yuuri cried, "They didn't come near me, okay? They haven't bullied me for weeks now."_

_"That's good." Mari replied, ruffling her little brother's hair._

_"It's because Marineechan is so cool and strong!" Another girl piped up, and the five began to babble excitedlh amongst themselves once more._

_"When I grow up, I'm going to bleach my hair and get ten piercings too so I can scare stupid boys away from the good ones!"_

_"Me too! Don't worry, Marineechan, we'll watch over Yuuchan and make sure those meanies stay away."_

_"O-okay, okay!" Yuuri cried, embarrassed as he got tackled into a hug. "T-thanks."_

_As Mari and Yuuri began their walk home, the boy reached out his hand for her to hold. It usually stayed silent, traveling home together, so it was a pleasant surprise when Yuuri's voice squeaked against the collar of his jacket._

_"Hey, Marineechan, do you look like a_  yankee so _that the bullies would go away?'_

'Would have socked them too, but that would have been in very bad taste.' Mari _thought, tightening her grasp on his small hand. "Of course not, Yuukun; it's that Takao said in an interview that he preferred girls who looked like this, so I thought, 'why not?'"_

 _Yuuri nodded, but Mari knew the boy was aware she was lying; she'd only began fan girling about Takao to the small boy a week ago, and but Mari had been unhealthily obsessive while she was in her two-week recluse life, and Yuuri essentially knew as much as she did about the boy band's frontman. Mari didn't even care about the songs at first, it was just Takao, Takao, Takao... what with his straight, fine neck-long hair, thick lashes and_ ikemen _good looks..._

 _Mari knew it was stupid, and she shouldn't haunt Takao's shadow as much as she did in the comforts of her room, but he just looked so much like_ him _that it couldn't be helped._

_"You know, Minako-sensei told me I should try figure skating." Yuuri suddenly said, looking up at his sister and bringing her out of her daydream. "The ice looks dangerous and slippery though, but figure skaters look so pretty; you think I should go for it?"_

_Mari ruffled her brother's hair. "Anything you want, as long as we can." She responded, and they continued home in content silence._

***

"Go with Minako- _senpai_  to Barcelona."

It wasn't a question, but it wasn't a demand either, so Mari was left in the middle to decide on her own. Hiroko had brought Minako's laptop in front of her, the confirmation for a round trip ticket to Spain for the Grand Prix Final, just waiting for her to click. The older woman didn't even stick around to see her answer, moving out of her room right away, closing the door behind her as gently as possible. "What a pain." Mari groaned, leaning against the fluffy top of her personal  _kotatsu_ , staring at the laptop screen, taunting her with the  _confirm_  button.

She knew her family was meddling with her cold war with Yuuri, and rightfully so, as it has never happened before. Apparently Hiroko knew about his stupid brother's  _real_ tattoo (Mari laughed bitterly at  _how ironic_ it was that he actually got one), and had tried to placate her, but Mari would not be assuaged. Toshiya had stepped in as well, and despite not knowing what made her act out, had immediately taken a liking to talking with her about mindless things, until she caught on and realized that her father was more perceptive than she had thought. The woman had immediately apologized, informing her father that she'd fix their problem, but in her own time.  _'Yeah, when Yuuri tells Viktor.'_  She added internally.

A hand suddenly sprung from behind her, clicking the  _confirm_  button and automatically deducting the plane fare from Minako's credit card. Mari instantly shot up, coming face to face with Minako's 'taking no bullshit' expression. "It's non-refundable, so pack your bags and meet me at the station the day after tomorrow."

The younger woman stared at the ex-ballerina, crossed, but sighed in surrender. "Whatever, it's not like I can do anything." She said, lying back down.

"You  _can_  do anything." Minako urged, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I don't know what the deal is between Yuuri and you, but if you wait for him to open up, you're going to wait forever."

Without further ado, the dancer left her in peace. Laughing to herself, Mari placed a hand on her hip, feeling for the mark that would never have a pair.

"If I wait forever," She began, feeling tears prick her eyes as a tug in her chest brought back emotions she'd so tried to keep away. "If I wait forever, what's so wrong with that?"

***

_"You sure you packed everything in your bags?"_

_"Yup, I even got every single poster of Viktor."_

_Mari laughed to herself, petting the fluff ball in her arms as Vicchan lolled his tongue. "Of course you wouldn't forget_ those _." She teased, watching as her eighteen-year-old brother puffed his cheeks, but chose not to dignify her with a retort. "You're going to do great, little brother; you'll meet Viktor Nikiforov on the same stage soon."_

_"Right!" Yuuri cheered excitedly, catching Vicchan in his arms as the dog leaped from Mari. "Aww, I'm going to miss you so much. Wait for me, okay? I'll try to come back after the first two semesters, so you better grow big and strong."_

_His older sister rolled her eyes. "You do know Vicchan is a toy poodle; he's not getting bigger than this."_

_Her younger brother pouted again, making her laugh. "Seriously, though, Yuukun," Mari continued, ruffling her brother's hair as she stood up. "I'm always, always here for you, no matter what happens." She began, smiling softly as her brother blushed. "Good or bad, let us know, okay?" With a quiver of her lip, she added, "And promise me you'd come back."_

_The image of a burning train car flashed through her mind, followed by an email she never bothered to erase from her phone, and finally the face of a boy, the seeds of puberty planted in him, but not yet quite grown._

_"You've gotten really dramatic! Is this because of Takao's new live action series?" Yuuri joked, but pulled his older sister into a hug. Mari winced, recalling the last day of their middle school, the one and only hug she'd ever allowed him to pull her into._

_"I won't see you for a year, Yuukun; this is your annual share of sap."_

_She remembered the one year anniversary of his passing, how she visited the small shrine near the Shin-Osaka station, how she was brought to tears when all she saw was the number of lives the train took, but not a single name._

_Yuuri nodded, nuzzling his sister's shoulder. "I'll be back soon."_

_The girl tried her best not think how the last person who told her that never returned._

_"You better."_

***

Tears formed in the corners of Mari's eyes as Yuuri performed his Free Skate, the raw emotion emanating from his spins and jumps enough for her promise to her little brother from all those years ago, before he set foot on foreign soil, to come back.

 _"I'm always here for you, no matter what happens_   _."_

She couldn't catch Yuuri before and after the award ceremony (she wouldn't have known what to tell him that would fit in three minutes, anyway), but she was able to corner Viktor an hour before the banquet.

"Marichan!" The Russian greeted, his childish jog towards her looking too misplaced on him as he sported an elegant, navy blue suit. "Did you see Yuuri's skate? Wasn't he amazing?"

Mari didn't respond, opting to embrace Viktor instead. "Marichan?"

"Why?" She mumbled against his shirt as his arms encircled her middle. The silver-haired skater buried his face in her fluffy hair, and Mari could imagine him smiling through the blonde locks.

"You know how much I love your brother." Viktor whispered against her hair, the vibrations of his voice running a chill down her spine. "I would have still pursued him, if he'd have me, had our situations been reversed."

"You're not soulmates." Mari punctuated without any real bite, looking up at Viktor's face with a blush, pushing herself off, slightly embarrassed from her outburst. The man smiled like sunlight in return.

"I think we are," He said, taking the woman's hand in his. "His match is married, and mine would be too in a few days' time. We may not sport the same soul mark, and this story of ours might not have taken the usual, straightforward route, but we are soulmates no less."

"How did you forgive him? How did you think that this would be worth it?" She asked, and Mari knew she sounded more and more childish, embarrassment flooding her as she recalled that Viktor was younger than her.

"The how of it all doesn't really matter, the way we approach things vary from person to person, right?" The man said. "It really doesn't, not when the the answer to why is so obvious."

A moment of silence passed between them.

"Because you love him." Mari whispered, to which Viktor smiled.

"Not so hard to understand now, I hope?" He quipped, before leaving her with a pat on her shoulder. Nodding to the Russian, Mari ran up to the elevator, to Yuuri's floor, and stopping only in front of his door. The blonde woman knocked the very moment that she could, lest she chicken out, immediately receiving a response.

_"Viktor? Did you forget your key?"_

Sighing deeply, Mari mustered the strength to speak. "It's me, Yuukun." She said, loud enough for Yuuri to hear.

_"M-Marineechan! Just a second!"_

Clumsy footsteps resounded from inside the room, Mari absently wondering how her little brother could be so graceful on ice but klutzy on land, before the door opened with a click. Despite herself, the woman found a smile forming on her face the moment she laid eyes on the young man in front of her.

Yuuri sported a classy, charcoal suit in mint condition, complemented by an elegant dark blue necktie with a subtle weave. Despite his getup looking like ten thousand Euros, the man's unkempt hair placed no doubt in Mari's mind that the skater in front of her was indeed her shy, awkward baby brother. "Your hair's a mess, little brother." The woman said fondly, reaching out her hand to pat Yuuri's brushed up hair neatly. "May I come in?"

"O-Of course!" He said almost too quickly, moving out of her way in a heartbeat. Mari entered the hotel room, a small blush forming on her cheeks as she noted that one of the two beds in the room was untouched. Yuuri trailed her line of sight, his face exploding with color as he waved his hands wildly.

"N-No, it's not what you think!" He exclaimed, running in front of his older sister as his gaze flitted from her and the less-than-innocuous bed. "I-I mean, uh, p-please, it's-"

Laughter cut through Yuuri's babbling, taking his embarrassment away for a moment as the sight of his normally cool sister guffawing without abandon invaded his senses. "What's so funny?" He asked weakly, voice breaking into a giggle at the end of his sentence. Wiping a tear from her eye, Mari placed a friendly hand on her brother's shoulder.

"You're twenty four years old, and you've been rooming with your lover," She teased, earning another dangerous blush from the man.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence! This is so  _embarrassing_."

Mari rolled her eyes playfully, pushing Yuuri down on the bed to sit as she grabbed a disposable comb from side table. Spotting Yuuri's hair wax, the woman grabbed it as well, uncapping it for easy access. Bringing the comb to her brother's hair, the blonde woman began to push back the stubborn locks, sticking them in place with moderate amounts of wax.

"Thanks, Marineechan," Yuuri said quietly as she continued combing his hair, trying to look up to her sister, but getting his head pushed back down.

"Don't move yet, I'm not done," The woman chided lightly, smoothing out the top of her brother's hair. "And it's no problem; no brother of mine is going out there looking like a mess." With an afterthought and a mischievous grin, she added, "Again."

Yuuri groaned, looking up again, thankfully without Mari pushing his head down once more. "Can we  _please_  not talk about that? You don't know how  _glad_  I am that Phichit wasn't in the Sochi banquet." He whined, pouting.

"The not-so-humble beginnings of the love story of the century, am I right?"

The man released his pout, jaw slacking as he gazed widely at his sister. "Mari," Yuuri began, reaching out his hand to touch the woman's, "I- _no_ \- Viktor and I talked about it."

Mari took it as a chance to sit beside her brother, leaning onto his shoulder but careful not to mess up his hair. "You knew that he knew, right?" He whispered, no ill feelings in his voice.

"I had to tell him, I hope you understand." She whispered back, feeling Yuuri nod his head in agreement.

"I was so afraid that someone would tell him at first." The skater continued, fiddling with his ring. "Around that time, Coach Yakov also found out, and Yurio was getting suspicious already. I was so scared that they would go straight and tell Viktor, and I didn't know what to do. I guess if I'm glad it was you who told him."

"Why didn't  _you_  tell him?"

Yuuri's wistful laugh filled the room. "Easier said than done," He responded. "I planned to tell him, I ran so many ways, situations, everything, through my head, but I always pulled back at the last moment. My conscience gunned me down with how terrible I was being to Viktor, but at the same time, I couldn't let go of him."

Mari looked up to her brother's big, brown eyes, noting the life in them as he spoke about the man he loved. "Viktor, beyond the legend and beyond the idol, is the very first person I've ever wanted to hold on to, and even when I knew-trust me,  _I knew_ \- that I didn't deserve him, I couldn't imagine living without him."

She had to prevent a laugh from exiting her lips from her brother's statement, easily recalling the besotted look Viktor had been sporting from the moment he laid eyes on Yuuri. The Russian skater was head over heels in love, and not hell nor high water ( _'Not even soul marks,'_ Mari internally added) could tear him from her precious little brother.

"I'm sorry." Mari found herself saying, her head suddenly bouncing off Yuuri's shoulder as the man jerked in surprise.

"W-What are you apologizing for?!" He exclaimed, confusion written on his face.

The woman simply sighed. "For abandoning you these past few weeks." She responded, lying down on the bed with a soft  _poof_. To her slight annoyance, Yuuri copied her, messing up the hairdo she worked so hard on. "Hey, you think fixing the jungle on that head of yours is easy?"

"Thank you."

Mari gazed at her brother, who was looking straight up at the ceiling. "I... I don't like it when you apologize to me." He continued. "Not when you've been my biggest supporter all my life, not when you've given up so much so that I could pursue what I wanted."

Shock enveloped her as she noted the silent tears running from the corner of Yuuri's eye, trailing slowly from his cheek and to the back of his neck. "Yuuri..." She whispered, frozen in place, unable to even dry his brother's face. The man turned to her abruptly, another stray tear falling from the other eye and down his nose.

"I'm doing what I want, Yuukun; just because I never left Hasetsu or Yu-topia Katsuki doesn't mean I'm unhappy." She responded, finally able to move her hand to cup her brother's cheek.

"You could have done more, watched more of Takao's concerts."

Mari snorted in response. "Please. Takao just went millennial and had an undercut like Otabek and JJ; I'm currently on the fence, whether I should be a good fan and support him, or take this as a sign to move on."

The siblings shared a laugh, Yuuri commenting how mean Mari was to the idol, before their voices faded into silence.

"It's not your fault, Yuuri, it never was." She said, her brother looking intently at her lips. "I never really had the guts to chase after what I want ( _'Whom I want,'_ ), not like you. I thought I was content just waiting, but I've just been trying to convince myself that I wasn't afraid to leave." After a pause, she added. "You deserve all you have, because you were brave enough to pursue them."

"It's not too late," Yuuri offered kindly, to which Mari nodded. Hesitantly, he added, "Y-You can still go to Tokyo and look for your classmate, if you feel up to it? Do you still talk with him? Do you like him? I never really got his name..."

The small memorial by the train station flashed through her mind, a number of victimes instead of a list of names. With a sad smile, the woman shook her head. "He's still unmarked, from what I know." She whispered, and Yuuri pouted, to which she laughed. "Also, he's not in Tokyo, he's in Osaka, has been for a long time now."

"Eh? But you said-"

"I'll take you to meet him sometime."

The man sat up, a smile on his face. "Really?! You think he'd have time to meet with us during the off season? Do you think he'd be all right if Viktor tagged along?" He asked excitedly, and Mari couldn't help but feel a little bit guilty. Sitting up herself, she slung and arm over her brother's shoulder.

"He's got all the time in the world, and I'm sure he won't mind seeing my little brother's soulmate."

_I hope he won't be too jealous._

As the siblings made their way back down to the lobby, Yuuri slipped his hand into Mari's. "He probably still loves you," He said encouragingly, and his older sister felt her heart break a little, at the same time swell so much at the love radiating from her brother's eyes.

"I don't know about that  _now_." She laughed lightly.

_He probably loves me still, wherever he is._

"You're worth the wait." Yuuri assured, just before a gust of navy blue and silver ran towards him, encasing the Japanese man in the arms of a certain excitable Russian. Mari gazed at the two lovers fondly, Yuuri momentarily forgetting about her from all the attention he was getting from Viktor. Shaking her head to herself, the woman sighed.

_And I guess I love him too, loved him even before I was brave enough to believe it._

_'I can tell him the whole story some other time,'_ She decided, basking in the secondhand warmth emanating from her brother and his match. It was disgustingly sweet, how the two were, but Mari couldn't bring herself to wrinkle her nose at them, not when she was too busy being happy for Yuuri.  _'Yup, we'd just have to set the waterworks for later.'_

"You'll be just fine." She whispered (To Yuuri? To herself? Mari wasn't sure), excusing herself silently with a promise to meet Yuuri and Viktor the following day.

***

_"And if you wait forever?"_

_"If I wait forever, then I'll make sure I live one forever more so that I can spend it you."_


End file.
